Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Drugs Legal?


I been hearing a lot of talk about legalizing drugs to help in the economic times, and stop the violence. By the numbers this is what the war on drugs has meant for our country:
  • 53 billion dollars per year, approximately, $150 million daily.
  • 1.4 million drug-related arrests annually
  • 5,612 deaths in Mexico as a result of the Drug War
  • In 2005, 22,400 people fatally overdosed in America on Drugs
  • 30 million Americans got "high" in 2008, (this figure does not include alcohol)
  • 0 people died from smoking Marijuana ... Ever.... in the United States
OK! Enough statistics right? I just had to put it in your face. It is costing us too much to fight a war that we cannot win, against HUMAN WILL. That's right human will, and we have lost this war before, it was called prohibition. Here is what former president Abraham Lincoln said about prohibition in 1840 before the Illinois House:

"Prohibition will work great injury to the cause of temperance. It is a species of intemperance within itself, for it goes beyond the bounds of reason in that it attempts to control a man's appetite by legislation, and makes a crime out of things that are not crimes. A Prohibition law strikes a blow at the very principles upon which our government was founded."

-Abraham Lincoln (1809-65) U.S. President.

Speech, 18 Dec. 1840, to Illinois House of Representatives.

Dare I say it, History is Repeating itself. Only, this time it is fighting a flower. The plant cannot even kill you, and if it can, that is a really fat blunt and you probably are lying about what killed you. The last time a "prohibition" was ended was in our last recession, we needed the money. It was a depression, something we have found ourselves back in. The tax revenue alone would put our country in much better economic shape, not to mention the money we will save from not putting 16-year olds in jail.

Also, people need to stop telling me, Marijuana is too easy to produce, the demand wont be as high as the federal supply. That's BULLSHIT, you wanna know why. Real stoners are lazy, that's why they can't get jobs. It takes a lot of work to grow quality bud. If there is A STORE!, a store a few blocks away, preferably something you can walk to, slangin' that Ghostface Killah!, PURPLE KUSH or that AK-47 *******> Northern Lights, no one is going to take the time it takes to grow that type of stuff when they can go down the street with their bridge card (electronic-food stamps)and get a dub! Not happening, quote me.

I mean, just fart and laugh. We can regulate usage by making it illegal to drive high, keep it out of teenagers hands with an 18-over age limit, sell vaporizers at an affordable price to make it substantially healthier, and give it out at communion in church. Cigarette smoking will go down, gun demand will go down, High School can change its name back to Secondary, and the average SAT will go up.

Just think, right now stoners across America are smoking your taxes, while you taxes (police) are chasing them in your taxes, fueled by your taxes, all to put them in jail: a.k.a. cheap hotel paid for by your taxes! We could eliminate all these charges by taxing them for their bud and chilling out. No how much does chilling out cost. The cool states have already caught on and have built dispensaries, they gettin' "A-rab money" of that Afghan Kush too.

Alright, to close out this blog post because I have the munchies and I haven't even put the chicken in the oven ( I think I'm gonna make Ramen), think of how many times you said you are not going to smoke because, well, it's illegal. Then think about what you did instead.... Then, think about how much cooler THAT would've been if you were fried. (yea, I'm for sure makin' Ramen, so much quicker)

"You CANNOT CONTROL A MAN'S APPETITE BY LEGISLATION!"- That boy Lincoln was a bad-muthashutcho mouth, wasn't he?I don't know what a happy Jamiacan Looks like when he is happy, per se, but this random one looks pretty cheerful.

The opinions expressed in this Blog, are solely the opinions of a cool person. They are not necessarily the opinions of the blog, Google, or President Obama (although everyone knows he gets down).

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Obama, Where is Osama? Osama the Crack Head


Everyone forgot about the guy with the rhyming name, he is still on the run. America clearly has no idea where he could be.

America is in it's own debacle right now and has lost interest in searching for Osama. But Osama is still out there. According to Al-Jazeera, sounds legit, he is in Chitral, Pakistan in the north, mountainous region of he country. On Saturday Osama published his 29th video since 9/11. Have we given up?

Personally, I am not hat afraid of a man on kidney-dialysis, severely underweight, and suffering from Dehydration. Sounds like a crackhead.

That's it, Osama is just a really driven crackhead! Although the crack over there is probably heroin based, because that is the cash crop that keeps Afghanistan economically afloat. What we have here is a problem many Americans deal with daily, Crackheads talkin' shit. They're prone to stealing vehicles, but have no regard for life. They usually have nappy-ass beards, bones showing, an army camouflage jacket to feel official or remember Nam, and just throw on whatever covers them.

The only thing about Osama that troubles me is his name: OSAMA BIN LADEN. It's too complicated for a crackhead. Crackheads like to keep to 1 name, usually characterizing their lifestyle (I.e. Rocky, Smokey, and Teeth)... You lose your teeth smokin' crack.

Now that we know what type of problem we have on our hands, how do we catch Osama? Easy! Leave some rims in Chachal or whatever. He won't be able to resist. Considering his bounty, he might send someone to get them, but the D's (haha) are going to his hut. If I know anything about crackheads, it is that they love rims; and, they really love tires. They wont buy our trap if we put out Rims on tires.

When the last time you saw tires on a chariot?

Obama, or Osama?





The opinions expressed in this article are the sole opinion of the blog, not Al-Jazeera or the source of the video.
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Monday, March 30, 2009

Welcome




If you fart and laugh, or fart and act like it was someone else, THIS IS THE BLOG FOR YOU! If you think of farts as unbecoming or nasty, THIS IS THE BLOG FOR YOU TOO. I value different perspectives.
If you really don't deal with farts in any capacity, you probably don't have thumbs.

My name is Marcus Alexander and I like people more than I hate farts so I have learned to embrace their positive qualities.More Importantly: I have learned to LIGHTEN UP.

LIGHTEN UP! It is a very simple and healthy philosophy. I just use the metaphor of farting and laughing because it happens everyday, a million times, and only a thousand people laugh. If everyone laughed like me, everyone would add a day to their life every time they farted. Now a fart in a hot car with the windows rolled up is NEVER COOL, and this blog will not endorse Cardinal Party Fouls, we just embrace laughter. So, lighten up, eat a burrito, and Fart & laugh! LOL ... I just farted..
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