Pilot's License Revoked [check!] Get Some Head While Flying, First [check!]

This pilot Got head on a helicopter. Is that dope to you? I like it. I think that this pilot went out like a G. How would you want to retire from flying choppers, by getting some face while passing the faces of Mt. Rushmore.

Congrats idiot [David Martz]! On losing your job for something none of us haters have ever done, but would love to do!

I hate when people do that to pictures, it's annoying when it's unnecessary..

Pilot's License Revoked [check!] Get Some Head While Flying, First [check!]

Manny Being Manny !!!

Manny Ramirez-positive test-duh!!!

Major Leaguer hops up the wall to give a fan a hand-clap, he's on drugs.


Major Leaguer turns down 45-million for two years in a recession, he's probably on drugs.

Major Leaguer acts an ass on a team in which he is the fan-favorite on, and a winner of two World Series,' might be on drugs.

Major Leaguer wears 'Dreads,' and baggy pants, he's at least smoking weed.

Major Leaguer is this blog's author, Marcus Alexander's, Favorite Player; point proven!

I love Manny, but Manny has issues, for that, my Conseco-radar has always been on spin. But, for those who don't know the whole story, or the story at all (because who cares about Baseball?) Manny tested positive for H.C.G.-a testosterone booster often prescribed to men with fertility problems.

I'm not tripping though, but I wish he wasn't on my fantasy team! http://games.espn.go.com/flb/clubhouse?leagueId=236192&teamId=6 (for those of you who give a damn.)

I dont think this is a big deal. Manny has never failed a drug test before, and won't fail another. I just wish 'Bud' Selig would allow 'Bud,' it's currently a banned substance. It's like a relative. Manny received a 50-game suspension.

Who cares?

Manny Being Manny !!!

The New way to Rob!

So.. You won't believe this! There is a new way to rob someone and it's hilarious; moreover, it is very efficient.

Apparently, the new way to commit armed robbery is: the perpetrators demand that the victims remove their pants. I am so serious, some robbers in my grandmas hood told me, this is the inside scoop! The logic is that the victims will not chase the robbers and they won't be so eager to report the crime to the public.

If you thought Sadhus were wild, this is way crazier...



Honestly I did not believe it; however, shortly after a family friend was ordered (at gunpoint in Farm. Hills, MI) to remover pants and give up her wallet, whatever douchebags take,etc... If someone tried rob me/ordered me to remove my pants, I would pee on them. But, what would you do if they took your levi's. Would you chase 'em? Pee on 'em? Run into hiding? Take advantage of the breeze?

The New way to Rob!

Kiss My Ass, I'm On Vaction!

The embargo's end is near. It comes at a time when I could not turned down the beautiful women, coastline, and arts of the forbidden isla.

I really never saw Cuba as a threat. Even when they were holding Soviet missiles, everyone knew they weren't trying to mess with the big dogs, the U.S. (I was going to type 'us,' but that actually is quite the double entendre. In fact, I love Cuba, and Castro is my cousin. Well probably not but you know how we ***** folks get, everybody wit a nappy beard and bad credit is our cousin. And Fidel has some bad ass credit, his score is probably negative... (see crackhead description in Osama article here: http://fartandlaugh.blogspot.com/2009/03/obama-where-is-osama-osama-crack-head.html#comments)

Look what our stubbornness has done to a nation that never really attacked us. We thought they had plans, but we also 'thought' Iraq had "Nuculer War-Heads." I just don't see what good have we done to Cubans if we caused a whole country to be impoverished and stuck in cars from the NAACP glory days. Truthfully, it puts a bad taste in my mouth. Sorta like: McDonald's right after you watch Super Size Me... Yuck!!!

Why don't we ever hear the good things about Cuba in our national media? They have one of the highest literacy rates in the world (cuz there is no Xbox360). They have one of the lowest violent crime rates (b/c you can't flee the country). Afro-Cubans geberally have the same standard-of-living as all other Cubans (Virtually unheard of in the West)! Everyone has healthcare, it's not HAP, but it is healthcare. There is not a lot of AIDs (we won't discuss that). And, I have not seen a crackhead there yet! I cannot confirm this because we all know how elusive crack heads are (see Osama post) but I am honestly yet to find one.

I am considering a lot more video blogging because many people in the US don't read... thoughts?

Or maybe a site with a sections dedicated to videos?

Without that purple bath robe rope I would have never spotted this crackhead! Dummy gave himself away.

Kiss My Ass, I'm On Vaction!

I got dat "Crabbe Grass"

Remember Crabbe & Goyle, a.k.a.: Malfoy's Female Dogs... Crabbe is little crazier than first suspected....

This is great. I am so glad for the 'Harry Potter' cast because now they have some street cred. Slytherin is supposed to be scum, too cool for school, and most of all, ABOUT THAT GREEN. It reminds me of one of my favorite Three Six songs' hook:
"Who got that Hydro, Who got that Light Green?"
"Who got that Bobby Brown, Who got Bin Laden weed!"
I said... (then it repeats hellas)

But it just makes me think so much about Crabbe's ass, whose real name is irrelevant (Jaime Waylett, haha). If he was a rapper I got him a bangin' hook already for his "Southern Smoke" tour:
"Who got that Canada, Who got that Michigan?"
"Who got that Skunk 2, Who got that Slytherin!"
! I said... (in the most Britishest of accents)

Crabbe bro, you're the man. Every true Harry Potter fan wanted to whoop your ass! Now they just wanna smoke with you, and that's chill. I knew Draco's pops wasn't gettin all those rupees off the Ministry of Magic.

Did Hagrid show you how to grow that stuff because I know he was growing cush in the patch next to them monsters. That's why he had that big-ass three headed pit-bull, so if the feds came they would have trouble.

I just have one concern Crabbe, I hope this doesn't mean you sniffin that floo powder bro.. I have seen what it does to folks and it wouldn't be pretty.

My advice to you is to stay away from Draco bro, HE HOT as hell! Every time the Ministry sees him they're watching, unless they his death eater cousins. Just keep it clean bro, and keep the Crabbe Grass in the headshops...

('he hot'- means the authorities watch him because a frequent criminal behavior, just so there's no confusion there folks..)

Take a listen..

I got dat "Crabbe Grass"

Wait for the Fish!

This video is shot entirely in stop time. It's nutty man, it really is.

I originally wanted to cut out pieces, but I couldn't.

It is not really consistent with the blog's theme, so at the end, just fart and laugh at yourself.



New post coming soon, Tuesday Afternoon.

Wait for the Fish!

Drugs Legal?

I been hearing a lot of talk about legalizing drugs to help in the economic times, and stop the violence. By the numbers this is what the war on drugs has meant for our country:

• 53 billion dollars per year, approximately, $150 million daily.
• 1.4 million drug-related arrests annually
• 5,612 deaths in Mexico as a result of the Drug War
• In 2005, 22,400 people fatally overdosed in America on Drugs
• 30 million Americans got "high" in 2008, (this figure does not include alcohol)
• 0 people died from smoking Marijuana ... Ever.... in the United States
  

OK! Enough statistics right? I just had to put it in your face. It is costing us too much to fight a war that we cannot win, against HUMAN WILL. That's right human will, and we have lost this war before, it was called prohibition. Here is what former president Abraham Lincoln said about prohibition in 1840 before the Illinois House:

"Prohibition will work great injury to the cause of temperance. It is a species of intemperance within itself, for it goes beyond the bounds of reason in that it attempts to control a man's appetite by legislation, and makes a crime out of things that are not crimes. A Prohibition law strikes a blow at the very principles upon which our government was founded."

-Abraham Lincoln (1809-65) U.S. President.

Speech, 18 Dec. 1840, to Illinois House of Representatives.

Dare I say it, History is Repeating itself. Only, this time it is fighting a flower. The plant cannot even kill you, and if it can, that is a really fat blunt and you probably are lying about what killed you. The last time a "prohibition" was ended was in our last recession, we needed the money. It was a depression, something we have found ourselves back in. The tax revenue alone would put our country in much better economic shape, not to mention the money we will save from not putting 16-year olds in jail.

Also, people need to stop telling me, Marijuana is too easy to produce, the demand wont be as high as the federal supply. That's BULLSHIT, you wanna know why. Real stoners are lazy, that's why they can't get jobs. It takes a lot of work to grow quality bud. If there is A STORE!, a store a few blocks away, preferably something you can walk to, slangin' that Ghostface Killah!, PURPLE KUSH or that AK-47 *******> Northern Lights, no one is going to take the time it takes to grow that type of stuff when they can go down the street with their bridge card (electronic-food stamps)and get a dub! Not happening, quote me.

I mean, just fart and laugh. We can regulate usage by making it illegal to drive high, keep it out of teenagers hands with an 18-over age limit, sell vaporizers at an affordable price to make it substantially healthier, and give it out at communion in church. Cigarette smoking will go down, gun demand will go down, High School can change its name back to Secondary, and the average SAT will go up.

Just think, right now stoners across America are smoking your taxes, while you taxes (police) are chasing them in your taxes, fueled by your taxes, all to put them in jail: a.k.a. cheap hotel paid for by your taxes! We could eliminate all these charges by taxing them for their bud and chilling out. No how much does chilling out cost. The cool states have already caught on and have built dispensaries, they gettin' "A-rab money" of that Afghan Kush too.

Alright, to close out this blog post because I have the munchies and I haven't even put the chicken in the oven ( I think I'm gonna make Ramen), think of how many times you said you are not going to smoke because, well, it's illegal. Then think about what you did instead.... Then, think about how much cooler THAT would've been if you were fried. (yea, I'm for sure makin' Ramen, so much quicker)

"You CANNOT CONTROL A MAN'S APPETITE BY LEGISLATION!"- That boy Lincoln was a bad-muthashutcho mouth, wasn't he?I don't know what a happy Jamiacan Looks like when he is happy, per se, but this random one looks pretty cheerful.

The opinions expressed in this Blog, are solely the opinions of a cool person. They are not necessarily the opinions of the blog, Google, or President Obama (although everyone knows he gets down).

Drugs Legal?