This Idiot... "From My Hood!"

Ok, so on the warm weekends I sit outside on the porch. My whole city does, even the people with skin cancer. So this weekend, while I was wasting away on the porch in my hood, I was having a discussion with one of my grandma's neighbors. The topic was one of the usual ones in the D, "How America is Racist!" haha. This one was a classic.

So, this kid was one of those kids that thinks he's a genius, and gets all intellectual about shit that is not that deep (i.e. a 4 foot pool's percentage of chlorine).



But, I just wished the kid hadn't gotten on my porch this weekend because he wanted to talk about something he had no clue about! He wanted to talk about "Things the government makes black people see repeatedly to remind us that we are not white!" Is it bad that I laughed at that? Because I did, primarily because I know I'm black. And if I ever forgot I would just walk past the police station or watch the NBA Playoffs/NASCAR! Frankly, I did not see relevance in his rant.

Somehow he began to talk about different people we are forced to see in the national media, that clearly did not care about black folks (i.e. Michael Steele). Surprisingly, he started off well! He goes, "John McCain, the man's family was once one of the largest planters in the South. Code word for: his ole dudes had a bunch of my cousins pickin' cotton." All I could do is laugh at that for it's comedic mix of truth and tremendous historical inaccuracy. What can I say, he ain't a scholar, just my homeboy.



They he says, Uncle Sam! To me, this was interesting, because I could not refute it, but I never see that man anywhere! DO we still use him? I thought to recruit people we just used one of the following pictures:

P.s. The State of Iraq most likely had nothing to do with the events associated with 9/11.

For some reason, it's proven effective. A lot of people have some signed up for war. But, not one b/c of Uncle Sam; consequently, I rudely shouted next! Because, he was beginning to talk nonsense.

Then, this is when a heart attack almost took my young life, he said "the Quaker Oats Man!" The Quaker Oats Man is on everything (is he really) What? Just think about that for one second. The Quaker Oats man. Now, I could be wrong, but I am pretty sure no quaker had that many slaves. I am sure a few had a few, etc..., but the Quakers were an integral part of the Underground Railroad right? I might be wrong, but I am too lazy to look this up. I was so pissed, because I like to give good white people from our country's beginning their credit because there weren't many. You know, like, Abe Lincoln, John Brown, JQ Adams, Abe Lincoln, John Brown... and so forth... Let me know if I'm wrong, because I really went off when he said that dumb shit!.... Excuse my vulgar English, No Parle ANY FLUCKIN FRENCH!

Zoom!

This Idiot... "From My Hood!"

Child Soldiers vs. Team America

My problem with America is not that it is overpopulated, disproportionately detrimental to the environment, infatuated with Hollister like there are no better clothes, half racist, same-half-homophobic, therefore − half idiot, greedy, lazy, and very fat; my problem with America is that we spend all our time on other countries minor issues to neglect our own.

I know terrorism is real, and we should look for Osama, but that’s it. We have to find the leader if we want some results because Al-Qaeda means cockroach in a few languages. Them muuhfuckas don’t die (Unless they blow themselves up, which is rare these days thanks to the iPhone). Insurgents die, but Al-Qaedas don’t. If you think they do, tell me one Al-Qaeda member that has died… (save Al-Zarqawi)

But in other places in the world, we still try to be Team America, World Police. I’m talking about Africa! That’s right, Africa. Ok, Liberia is fucked partially because of U.s. (acronym for the United States, not accusing anyone of anything). It’s partially our fault because we sent some American Negroes back over to Africa, and they raised hell. And, actually continue to raise hell. So, we can go there. The diamond trade is ridiculous, and its lowest levels are very inhumane, very inhumane (I'm not redundant, I'm focusing in). Liberia should be a concern of ours. Tanzania should not! I don’t mean that in a rude way, I am just saying the nation was not a part of the slave trade, American diplomacy, oil, the making of Hotel Rwanda, or the birthplace of that bald chick I keep seeing in magazines modeling and shit…

Y'all know the chick I'm talkin' 'bout.

The U.S.S. Maersk Alabama was delivering food relief to Kenya and Tanzania. At the same time three million people, to our limited knowledge, struggle to eat in the US. This hijacking was our fault; we should stay the hell out of there. We didn’t have any business any business there the first time, any business in Iraq, and we certainly don’t have any business there now. While these pirates are not Al-cockroaches, I fear they may be getting ideas. If the US stubbornly goes back through the area (East Africa) unarmed, I might laugh. Just because: Team America, World Police was supposed to be a joke!

Like this new campaign to stop ‘child’ soldiers. WTF, in UGANDA! That is none of our damn business. I’m sorry, it’s not. And let me tell you somthin’ about that whole pitch about “child-soldiers,” and saving them because they are just kids. It’s sad and touching, it really is. But, when you put an AK47 into someone’s hands, AT WHATEVR AGE!, they just became grown. It’s simple. You cannot tell me that a kid playing Pop Warner is on the same terms that a kid that can Pop a cap in Kurt Warner from 400 meters out. It’s not the same. But who am I? You be the judge!

Same Sport, Same Shirt. Go ahead, Team America.

Child Soldiers vs. Team America