This Idiot... "From My Hood!"

Ok, so on the warm weekends I sit outside on the porch. My whole city does, even the people with skin cancer. So this weekend, while I was wasting away on the porch in my hood, I was having a discussion with one of my grandma's neighbors. The topic was one of the usual ones in the D, "How America is Racist!" haha. This one was a classic.

So, this kid was one of those kids that thinks he's a genius, and gets all intellectual about shit that is not that deep (i.e. a 4 foot pool's percentage of chlorine).



But, I just wished the kid hadn't gotten on my porch this weekend because he wanted to talk about something he had no clue about! He wanted to talk about "Things the government makes black people see repeatedly to remind us that we are not white!" Is it bad that I laughed at that? Because I did, primarily because I know I'm black. And if I ever forgot I would just walk past the police station or watch the NBA Playoffs/NASCAR! Frankly, I did not see relevance in his rant.

Somehow he began to talk about different people we are forced to see in the national media, that clearly did not care about black folks (i.e. Michael Steele). Surprisingly, he started off well! He goes, "John McCain, the man's family was once one of the largest planters in the South. Code word for: his ole dudes had a bunch of my cousins pickin' cotton." All I could do is laugh at that for it's comedic mix of truth and tremendous historical inaccuracy. What can I say, he ain't a scholar, just my homeboy.



They he says, Uncle Sam! To me, this was interesting, because I could not refute it, but I never see that man anywhere! DO we still use him? I thought to recruit people we just used one of the following pictures:

P.s. The State of Iraq most likely had nothing to do with the events associated with 9/11.

For some reason, it's proven effective. A lot of people have some signed up for war. But, not one b/c of Uncle Sam; consequently, I rudely shouted next! Because, he was beginning to talk nonsense.

Then, this is when a heart attack almost took my young life, he said "the Quaker Oats Man!" The Quaker Oats Man is on everything (is he really) What? Just think about that for one second. The Quaker Oats man. Now, I could be wrong, but I am pretty sure no quaker had that many slaves. I am sure a few had a few, etc..., but the Quakers were an integral part of the Underground Railroad right? I might be wrong, but I am too lazy to look this up. I was so pissed, because I like to give good white people from our country's beginning their credit because there weren't many. You know, like, Abe Lincoln, John Brown, JQ Adams, Abe Lincoln, John Brown... and so forth... Let me know if I'm wrong, because I really went off when he said that dumb shit!.... Excuse my vulgar English, No Parle ANY FLUCKIN FRENCH!

Zoom!

This Idiot... "From My Hood!"