Child Soldiers vs. Team America

My problem with America is not that it is overpopulated, disproportionately detrimental to the environment, infatuated with Hollister like there are no better clothes, half racist, same-half-homophobic, therefore − half idiot, greedy, lazy, and very fat; my problem with America is that we spend all our time on other countries minor issues to neglect our own.

I know terrorism is real, and we should look for Osama, but that’s it. We have to find the leader if we want some results because Al-Qaeda means cockroach in a few languages. Them muuhfuckas don’t die (Unless they blow themselves up, which is rare these days thanks to the iPhone). Insurgents die, but Al-Qaedas don’t. If you think they do, tell me one Al-Qaeda member that has died… (save Al-Zarqawi)

But in other places in the world, we still try to be Team America, World Police. I’m talking about Africa! That’s right, Africa. Ok, Liberia is fucked partially because of U.s. (acronym for the United States, not accusing anyone of anything). It’s partially our fault because we sent some American Negroes back over to Africa, and they raised hell. And, actually continue to raise hell. So, we can go there. The diamond trade is ridiculous, and its lowest levels are very inhumane, very inhumane (I'm not redundant, I'm focusing in). Liberia should be a concern of ours. Tanzania should not! I don’t mean that in a rude way, I am just saying the nation was not a part of the slave trade, American diplomacy, oil, the making of Hotel Rwanda, or the birthplace of that bald chick I keep seeing in magazines modeling and shit…

Y'all know the chick I'm talkin' 'bout.

The U.S.S. Maersk Alabama was delivering food relief to Kenya and Tanzania. At the same time three million people, to our limited knowledge, struggle to eat in the US. This hijacking was our fault; we should stay the hell out of there. We didn’t have any business any business there the first time, any business in Iraq, and we certainly don’t have any business there now. While these pirates are not Al-cockroaches, I fear they may be getting ideas. If the US stubbornly goes back through the area (East Africa) unarmed, I might laugh. Just because: Team America, World Police was supposed to be a joke!

Like this new campaign to stop ‘child’ soldiers. WTF, in UGANDA! That is none of our damn business. I’m sorry, it’s not. And let me tell you somthin’ about that whole pitch about “child-soldiers,” and saving them because they are just kids. It’s sad and touching, it really is. But, when you put an AK47 into someone’s hands, AT WHATEVR AGE!, they just became grown. It’s simple. You cannot tell me that a kid playing Pop Warner is on the same terms that a kid that can Pop a cap in Kurt Warner from 400 meters out. It’s not the same. But who am I? You be the judge!

Same Sport, Same Shirt. Go ahead, Team America.

Child Soldiers vs. Team America